Just need to get through the day.

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I just need to get through the day.

8 hours. Just 8 hours trying not to think about what I am doing here. 8 hours.

Black tea.

Chocolate.

I will keep myself occuppied. I will be productive. I will fulfill my need of achievement. I will plan my next holiday. I will get inspired by beautiful pictures. I will think about evening plans.

11am. 4th cup of Earl Grey. Chocolate finished. My eyes are getting sensitive. My stomach has had enough.

The tea has improved my mood. I cannot bear to loose that. The glass of water on my table from this morning remains untouched. Water just cannot compete.

I know it better. I just need to get through the day.  I can deal with feeling unwell physically later. I cannot deal with feeling unwell mentally now.

4 hours to go. Half-time. Lunch break.

I keep drinking Earl Grey. I want to keep eating chocolate, but I feel physically sick.       No inspiring pictures can distract or motivate me. Even a chat with the loveliest colleague does not lift my spirit. The time just does not pass. I look at my phone every couple of minutes. I pretend like I am busy working whenever anyone walks past.

Get me out of here.

Just one hour left now. The final countdown. The freedom in sight and oh so close.

The phone rings. A document needs to be sent out. I cannot hide my annoyance. I just want to cry. I cannot handle this.

Get me out of here.

***

Freedom at last.

Listening to my favourite music. Hope is rising within me.  Anything and everything seems possible again.

The evening is mine. Tomorrow is a new day.

***

I just need to get through the day.

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