A sole evening just cannot compensate for a whole day. A whole day spent in an environment filled with boredom, lack of motivation and tasks that contradict one’s values.
The evening is over in the blink of an eye. Even if filled with soul nourishing and mind pleasing activities. Nothing seems to prepare for the following day.
Going to bed equals a step back into the cycle of duties and obligations; duties devoid of point and value. One evening just isn’t enough so I don’t want it to end and cannot face going to bed.
The morning is near. A time schedule needs to be followed. Alarm clock, bathroom, breakfast, brushing teeth, dressing, make-up, walking, tram, walking, train, walking, office – arrived.
Work. Work which can hardly be grasped as there are hardly any tasks to be accomplished. Work which can hardly be grasped as one jumps and runs and prints and asks and books and schedules and helps and calls and turns into a headless chicken or a monkey (whichever image comes to your mind more easily) and cannot slow down for the rest of the day even if the jungle turns into a calm oasis at some point.
Only the evenings and the weekends belong to me. Belong to my real life. The rest is a type of limbo phase. Something one is stuck in temporarily. This is not life. This is waiting for life to happen.
I know that it is all a matter of perspective. A matter of focusing on the positive and enjoyable things, no matter how little they are. After all, every second of our life is part of our life. It is up to us to make it valuable and worthy. And yet I cannot help that I feel this way at the moment. I know that things will change. I am working on it.
Real life is going to start soon. For now, an evening just isn’t enough. And that is okay.