Looking for myself

Timing is such a fascinating topic. My situation in a nutshell: unhappy with job since 2012 –> health problems –> wanting to change job –> not knowing what job I want –> staying in job –> getting increasingly more frustrated –> health deteriorating further.

In the process of wanting to change my life I have come across a lot of interesting literature, especially in the second half of 2017 describing the link between our mental and physical health, but also more spiritual works that talk about each individual’s purpose in this world. I was surprised to discover my spiritual side and became very curious about finding out more. I felt like it could help answer some of my longing for that “more” in life and help me find my place in the world.

Not knowing what one wants to do professionally is usually met with a lack of understanding and seen as a sign of personal weakness that should be kept hidden from the world, like an embarrassing secret. I am admittedly uncomfortable myself especially when I talk to acquaintances I don’t see often but who know of my situation at the workplace. I feel the need to justify myself, as I don’t want to seem like one of those people who just complain but never actually take matters into their own hands. And trust me, I have done lots and lots of research, read books about finding out what one wants to do in life, looked at job profiles, investigated job offers, sat through coaching sessions…and that for the past 6 years (you see, I am trying to justify myself again). And I am still in the finding phase just starting to see the light.

Why is it such a taboo? Why does it seem like everyone knows what they want to do in life? Once I started talking about it, I realised that there are others who are still in the “finding phase”. There was a time when I indeed thought that there must be something wrong with me! I really wish it was a more accepted topic. It has nothing to do with weakness, laziness or lack of determination. It is just that some of us need more time and that we should use that time and not rush into making decisions trying to please others or in order to “fit in”. It is okay not to know what you want to do professionally. You will find out. Just try and be patient as you learn more about yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. No one can speed the process up for you or help by forcing you to make a decision. You will know when you are ready.

Change is coming

I am so grateful for having crossed “paths” with Ronja last year, it was thanks to her that I discovered the spiritual world. Ronja gave me so much inspiration and perseverance to keep chasing my dreams and made me realise that I am much closer to finding my path than I ever thought I was. Just like Gabrielle Bernstein says in her book (The Universe has your back), when you trust in the Universe and send out a sign that you are ready to be led, you receive guidance. In my case this wisdom came via a wonderful person I otherwise wouldn’t have met.

In the past 10 months I have learnt so much about myself and about trusting that I will go my way. I have also learnt that knowing what I would like my professional setting to look like and how I want to feel each day (Oh yes, that I DO know!) is already a hugely important step forward and that the rest will manifest itself when the time is right. I do indeed believe that incorporating as much as I can of that setting or those feelings into my current life, will help bring everything to light. I believe Rebecca Campbell mentioned in her book (Light is the new black – isn’t the title just awe-mazing?!) that by doing the things that make you happy, you will eventually find your place in the world. Like writing for example. I guess that I always thought I was not good enough to publish a blogpost, that I needed to have a clear and concrete concept of my blog. Guess what, when I finally found the courage to do it, I just did it without thinking of the “consequences”. Without having any kind of expectation. And then, I received such lovely feedback from “my” people and even strangers, that now I feel like there is no reason not to write. It was such a simple step, but at the same time a very big one that I did not dare to take for years.

I can feel that change is coming and that exciting new things are waiting around the corner and I just cannot wait! I try to keep reminding myself that everything will fall into place.

When the time is right.

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