A dear friend said to me the other day, that I have changed a lot over the past few months. That I seem more like myself. This made me think. I really am more myself. I have been working on uncovering my true self (I would say intensely for the past 12 months), and during this time I have started to actually show more of “me”. I have been more open about my feelings and my mood. I have also been recognising and stating my needs more fervently. I have created space to accommodate time for reflection. For reading and writing. For listening to music. Dreaming. Retreating. Switching off from the world. It is liberating. Feeling that I have the right to be just the way I am. To create a life that suits me instead of trying to fit into a box that I am just not meant to fit into. I have become more courageous and brave in showing my true personality. And it has resulted in positive feedback and a peace of mind.
The blog has brought change. Freedom. It has been only 4 months, yet it feels like I have been writing for much longer. Creating something of my own, filling an empty page. It helps me to understand the world better and offers a stage for me to show even more of myself. Yet, even more importantly, I just ENJOY writing so much. Somehow, hitting the “publish” button every time is a moment filled with excitement. Like I am sending out my wishes to the Universe and then eagerly awaiting for them to come true. My writing gives my day (dare I say life?) a purpose and something to look forward to. And being able to combine it with my own photographs makes it all the more creative and personal.
I cannot emphasise enough how glad I am to have finally started my own blog. I have been dreaming of it for years. And 2018 has turned out to be the year for it. Sometimes we just need to wait a little longer for something to flourish. For the “right” time for us. When everything comes together and when it just makes sense to sit down (or jump up!) and do that one thing we have been dreaming off. That one thing we have been putting off because maybe we do not know how to do it. Or we think that we won’t be good enough for it. That we will be judged. Or laughed at. Or…..There are a thousand reasons we can find, especially when we want to. When the fear is bigger than the curiosity. But then the time comes when one is ready to risk something. To just try it out. To see. Maybe it is not as much fun as we thought it would be. But we do not sign a contract when we take up a new activity. We can just try and see. If it is not for us, it just isn’t meant to be. But then at least we know. And the voice can quieten down in our head so that we can turn to something else. There is something “out there” for all of us. We just need to find “it”. It takes some courage, but we can all do it. We just shouldn’t give up and dare to try something new.
Being myself. Bit by bit. More and more each day. Until one day I can free myself completely from a cage that I had created in the first place. Spread my wings and fly…