Guilty of taking care of myself.

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I am sick. I feel unwell. My body needs attention and wants me to take care of it. To take care of me. This entails not going to work. And all I feel is worried and guilty. Worried that others won’t believe that I am actually sick. That they may think I am just faking. Especially since I was only sick a couple of weeks ago. I want to avoid having to confront my colleague with this reality. She is not someone who is understanding when it comes to me being away from work (for whatever reason). She is a “true hero” and always comes to work no matter how sick she feels or what the doctor advised her to do. And now she will be the “true victim” of having to do all the work by herself because I am not there.

You may think this is nonsense, but I actually believe that this is supposed to teach me to prioritise my well-being, to really take care of myself. No matter the difficulties and confrontations I may encounter. I am someone who prefers to avoid all personal conflict in exchange for “peace” and “harmony”. I am learning to stand up for myself and to demand the space and time I need to heal. And that is something I believe we should all learn to do.

6 Replies to “Guilty of taking care of myself.”

  1. The true hero is the one who actually tends and cares for his own body – at least that is how I see it ❤️ But I also know how difficult it can be to be sick and take care of yourself if that entails calling in sick at work. I am still learning that, little by little, bit by bit.
    I hope that you are feeling better!
    Sending you lots of love and light, xx Ronja

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, of course! Hence the: “…” 😉 as I do not actually mean hero in the traditional sense of the word. And yes, I also struggle with staying at home or with going home when I am sick and taking really good care of me, hence the belief that others may think I am just faking or the belief that I am not good enough at my job because I leave without having done my tasks. I am rather referring to the fact that there are people who seem to believe that one is sick on purpose in order to harm them or that since they do not stay at home no one else has the right to….Thank you very much for commenting and sharing your view ❤️


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