I am sick. I feel unwell. My body needs attention and wants me to take care of it. To take care of me. This entails not going to work. And all I feel is worried and guilty. Worried that others won’t believe that I am actually sick. That they may think I am just faking. Especially since I was only sick a couple of weeks ago. I want to avoid having to confront my colleague with this reality. She is not someone who is understanding when it comes to me being away from work (for whatever reason). She is a “true hero” and always comes to work no matter how sick she feels or what the doctor advised her to do. And now she will be the “true victim” of having to do all the work by herself because I am not there.
You may think this is nonsense, but I actually believe that this is supposed to teach me to prioritise my well-being, to really take care of myself. No matter the difficulties and confrontations I may encounter. I am someone who prefers to avoid all personal conflict in exchange for “peace” and “harmony”. I am learning to stand up for myself and to demand the space and time I need to heal. And that is something I believe we should all learn to do.